Today, on the way to work and the friends house, we were running late per our usual routine lately. As we are driving down a busy boulevard, Little Miss is playing with breakfast in my purse and says, “eew, Little Man, look at this.” It was an apple, banana, orange. I saw red. I yanked her hair, it’s all I could reach whilst driving and was very, very angry. She actually tried to rearrange the fruit and say she meant Roy as in Roy G. Biv. Red (apple), orange (self explanatory), yellow (banana). Not bad for an off the top cover. But in my Nancy Drew like sleuthing noticed that her original arrangement was red, yellow, orange—not quite right and she was moving the fruit around as she explained.
To be honest when I or you indulge in this middle-school adolescent boy behavior it is nothing but guffaws and laughter. Ha Ha. But when my 11 year old daughter does it—well it’s time for the nitroglycerin. I have to admit even though she has been testing me and exploring lately, this really got to me. I may have said one or two things that now make me cringe because they could have came straight from dad’s mouth twentysomethingodd years ago. It went like, “if this is what you are doing at 11, what will you be doing at 13?fucking everyone who comes along, 15? Knocked up?” Yeah, ugly cringeworthy mom. Not breaking the train of pain today, am I?
So, is this normal prepubescent girl behavior? Do I need to worry about the less than virginal hereditary that the women in my bloodline carry? What do I do? We have already had a very long, embarrassing talk. I promised to answer honestly any questions she had—BIG mistake.huge. (name that movie) Maybe it was TMI—I don’t know, we are entering unchartered waters here.
Also, lately we argue and fight all the time. All I want to do is love that girl. She makes it impossible with her mood swings and attitude. Wait. Maybe that’s me. Nope. It is both.of.us.
I really need to go call my mom and apologize now for everything from 9 (early bloomer) on. Up to and including today.