Sunday, February 21, 2010



I cannot believe it has been nearly 2 months, since I have posted anything. This astonishes me for a variety of reasons.
  • I want to post to help me "let out" my feelings

  • So much has happened, I can't believe you don't know what is going on here

  • I am so lonely, I thought this blog would help me connect

  • I might need advice, and how can I get it, if I am not asking for it?

Okay, so let's get down to the nitty gritty details. On Friday, January 15, I told Bog B, he needed to move out by March 1. There was a lot of things that happened between Dec. 5 and then, that made me decide that. I will try to fill in the details later. Right now, I just need to get these updates out there in the open.

Today, is Sunday, February 21. Does he have an apartment? No idea. He won't answer me. Does he have a plan? see previous answer. Does he have transportation? No, I have been getting up at 5:00 a.m. every week day and taking him to work. Of course, not the day he "borrowed" the car without asking.

Big B has been very mean and nasty through all of this. I am trying everything I can to make this as painless for everyone as possible and all I have done for the last 6 weeks is work, sleep, and stayed locked in my room.

Little Miss is not doing so well with the changes, etc. so I went and adopted two of the sweetest, cutest chihuahuas you have ever seen. I hope it helps, her.

Mr. Man says Big B can't come home unless he has an attitude adjustment or quits drinking.

Overall, it could be worse.

All of my girlfriends are going through some major stuff at the moment, and I just can't seem to open up to them about the hell that I am going through. I know, I know, I should but it just keeps getting stuck. I go to speak and literally my throat closes.

If I am not at work, which is very stressful, I am sleeping. I sleep so much, I am a little worried about me. It is not normal, this amount of sleep.

So now, what do I do if he does not leave next weekend? This is not a silly quesstion--this is what happened two years ago when I tried to seperate. He just never left. Seriously. So, I have a game plan that involves boxes on the porch and new locks. I just pray it does not come down to that. Really. I am not sure I would be able to go through with anything that drastic. I hate confrontation, and he is the father of my adorable babies.

Okay, I really do need to work on bookkeeping, so I will try to write everyday this week. I have some other "pressing issues" to get out there in the open.

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