4 weeks and counting

It has been four weeks today, since Big B moved out. A lot of things have happened in these last few weeks. Some good, some not so good, and some just plain ugly.

Honestly, this has been way harder than I imagined and I did imagine it would not be easy. On so many levels. Emotionally, physically, parenting, work, home, etc.

Today, I am ready to through in the towel. Ready to beg Big B to come home. Ready to go crawling on my knees. Thanks to a quick talk with my bf, I am going to breathe and wait.

The childrendo. not. listen. Really I am so sick of it, I want to move out. Seriously. Let Big B have them and the sinkfull of dirty dishes, the weeds that are taller than the dogs, the laundry, all of it.

Big B only texts still, he won't talk to me. at. all. Annoying as all get out.

This weekend he took the kids from Sat. 10 AM til Sun. 2 PM. The longest he has had them and the longest I have been alone since mid-January. They went to St. George. I went to bed. The entire time. UnF***ing believable. I feel like all I do is sleep, sleep, and sleep.

Also, I feel bad for how he is living. In a weekly. It's pretty Motel 6. He doesn't have a car and makes tales of the bus very scary.

I think part of the problem is that the kids and I are not taking full advantage of our freedom. Maybe, we need to get out of the house more. I am not sure what the answer is but I need to find one soon. This is taking so much out of me, it's not even funny.